Top Ten List
As we all know, this has been a very mild winter. Most of the country hasn't seen any snow, or ice, and the temperatures have been far warmer that what we are used to for this time of year. This, of course, does begs the question. What are we to do, when winter really hasn't arrived, and we are stuck in January? Here are ten things that I was able to think of.
10. Turn your furnace down very low. Then you can freeze just like any other January. If you make it cold enough, it may be warmer to go outside. When has that ever happened in midwinter?
9. Go out to the garage and sit on the snowmobile. You can always dream of a foot of new snowfall. You can also yell 'vrrom, vroom' (you know, like you're driving) real loud so the neighbors will think your crazy. ("Bill, are you okay? I heard the strangest noises out of your garage.").
8. Put on your ice skates, and walk around the house. It would do wonders in building up your ankles, though it may do terrible things to your wooden floors.
7. Get out your golf clubs, and head to the nearest indoor simulator.. Look at it this way, you will save money by not having to purchase golf tees. Plus you can pretend you are playing Pebble Beach and Augusta ("..Cinderella story, walking on the 18th fairway at Augusta...It's in the hole, it's in the hole..."). Another plus, your clubs won't get dirty by playing indoors..
6. With no snow, maybe you can get a cut rate price to visit Aspen. Of course, with Aspen, I wouldn't count on getting too good of a deal. Though you can find all sorts of bargains at the 'Mt. Trashmore' ski hills that many towns seem to have these days.
5. Speaking of saving a few bucks, with no snow you can go to the hardware store and stock up on all sidewalk salt to last the next ten years. That you can get on the cheap.
4. Go out and count your firewood. There is probably a whole lot more this year then there has been in previous January's.
3. Brag about how bad previous winters were. "I remember the winter of '02. We had 84 feet of snow, and it was always twenty below zero. To get the ten miles to school every day, I rode an old mule, and we ate coal for lunch. Those were the good old days."
2. Drive around town real slow, with your headlights lit, and windshield wipers on. Call it practice for when the real weather hits.
And finally the number one thing you can do this mild winter...
1. Wear your parka as a fashion statement. Or as they say in New York and Milan, "For the winter season, don't be caught in the cold with out your heavy coat. This winter's colors will be an exciting 'Forest Green' and an exquisite 'Beguiling Brown'."
Come on back on Tuesday, I'll have another So as I was Saying essay. .
We will talk soon
Jeff
10. Turn your furnace down very low. Then you can freeze just like any other January. If you make it cold enough, it may be warmer to go outside. When has that ever happened in midwinter?
9. Go out to the garage and sit on the snowmobile. You can always dream of a foot of new snowfall. You can also yell 'vrrom, vroom' (you know, like you're driving) real loud so the neighbors will think your crazy. ("Bill, are you okay? I heard the strangest noises out of your garage.").
8. Put on your ice skates, and walk around the house. It would do wonders in building up your ankles, though it may do terrible things to your wooden floors.
7. Get out your golf clubs, and head to the nearest indoor simulator.. Look at it this way, you will save money by not having to purchase golf tees. Plus you can pretend you are playing Pebble Beach and Augusta ("..Cinderella story, walking on the 18th fairway at Augusta...It's in the hole, it's in the hole..."). Another plus, your clubs won't get dirty by playing indoors..
6. With no snow, maybe you can get a cut rate price to visit Aspen. Of course, with Aspen, I wouldn't count on getting too good of a deal. Though you can find all sorts of bargains at the 'Mt. Trashmore' ski hills that many towns seem to have these days.
5. Speaking of saving a few bucks, with no snow you can go to the hardware store and stock up on all sidewalk salt to last the next ten years. That you can get on the cheap.
4. Go out and count your firewood. There is probably a whole lot more this year then there has been in previous January's.
3. Brag about how bad previous winters were. "I remember the winter of '02. We had 84 feet of snow, and it was always twenty below zero. To get the ten miles to school every day, I rode an old mule, and we ate coal for lunch. Those were the good old days."
2. Drive around town real slow, with your headlights lit, and windshield wipers on. Call it practice for when the real weather hits.
And finally the number one thing you can do this mild winter...
1. Wear your parka as a fashion statement. Or as they say in New York and Milan, "For the winter season, don't be caught in the cold with out your heavy coat. This winter's colors will be an exciting 'Forest Green' and an exquisite 'Beguiling Brown'."
Come on back on Tuesday, I'll have another So as I was Saying essay. .
We will talk soon
Jeff
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