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Top Ten List

Jeff Hare — Mon, 28 May 2012 02:35:02 GMT

So tomorrow is Memorial Day, which of course is the first 'major' holiday of the summer. It was also a very busy weekend for us, as we had a birthday party for my 95 year old grandmother, plus a graduation party for a niece. I was also still able to spend time at the cabin to do some boating. That said, for tonight Ten Ten List. I'll have some be observations of the long weekend.

10. Renting an RV is overrated. Especially if it is not clean, and has billboard advertising all over over it. My younger brother can attest to that.

9. I answered a question that has haunted civilization for centuries.   If a tree falls in the forest, and no one hears it, did it still fall? In the backyard of my cabin, there was an old dead tree, that had been there for some time. Saturday night it fell, and no one heard it. But, make no mistake, it still was on the ground. The worst part is, I may have to get my hands dirty cleaning it up next weekend.

   8. Memorial Day is not too early to turn on the central air conditioning. Especially when it gets as hot as it did Sunday across the country. Makes you wonder what the summer will be like.

   7. When playing bean bag toss with your cousins, be sure to account for the wind. It makes it hard to throw when the breeze kicks up. Which is the reason my team lost. That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

   6.   Speaking of cousins, when they are as good as golfers as mine are, leave your money at home and play in the 'non' betting foresome. You will be a whole lot happier.

   5.   If you are like me, the first thought that comes to mind when thinking about graduation parties, is a wailing blues guitar. All I know is that it was a great idea.

   4.   Buffet lines and taco bars. They are great, except when you are on a diet. Believe me, I know that for a fact.

   3.   It's not a good idea to boat in the rain. Or thunder, lightning, and maybe some heavy winds. Though it was somewhat disappointing to get back to the dock and see the storm missed us.

   2.   Someone should invent an air conditioner that can be set up in an open pavilion and keep everything cooled off. They would make a ton of money. Don't laugh, they can do it with portable heaters, and it works well.

Finally the number one observation about Memorial Day

   1.    No deviled eggs. This was my mistake, I should have brought them myself.   Of course I have no idea how to make them, but I think you can buy them already made at the grocery store. I'll have the next on covered.

Be safe and have fun. We will talk soon.

Jeff

Person of the Week

Jeff Hare — Fri, 25 May 2012 02:33:30 GMT

There was a movie that came out a few years ago, that I know about everyone has seen. It was kind of a slapstick farce, that featured great music. It starred John Belushi as Joliet Jake Blues, who along with his brother Elwood, who was played by Dan Aykroyd, needed to raise money to save their orphanage home. The movie of course, was The Blues Brothers.

To further explain the premise of the movie, Jake and Elwood were blues singers, who would get their old band back together for one high paying gig. Of course the band was superb, and they were able to pull it off and save their childhood home.

The backbone of that movie band was a guitar player named Steve 'the Colonel' Cropper, and his bass playing buddy Donald 'Duck' Dunn, who played themselves in the movie. In this world, there are some great blues musicians. And quite honestly, these two are at the top of the list.

Dunn came upon the bass by accident. His childhood friend Cropper, was playing in a band that needed a bass player. So they 'drafted' Dunn. Over the years he played in a few bands, and eventually he and his buddy (Cropper) ended up with a group called Booker T and the MG's. That group got him inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

He also did a lot of studio work, and was very highly regarded. Many artist's on the Memphis Stax record label featured Dunn on bass. Some of those singers
included Otis Redding, Albert King, Sam and Dave, who at the end of their recording of Soul Man, mentioed both Cropper and Dunn.

There is also a story about the formation of the Blue Brothers band. Originally it was a Saturday Night Live skit, which proved to be so popular, that Belushi and Aykroyd decided to become Blues singers. Problem is, they didn't know how to go about doing it. So, they were sent to Memphis, and given and education by (who else) Cropper and Dunn in the art and science of the Blues.

Eventually the Blues Brothers remade Soul Man, and at the end, did the same thing that Sam and Dave did, ("Steve Cropper and Duck Dunn") and shouted out to the boys at the end.

There was the movie that followed, along with the sequel. Dunn kept performing (with Cropper), right up until the day he died last week. In my minds eye, I can still hear his bass licks. Donald 'Duck' Dunn is our Person of the Week.

Be careful this holiday and we will talk soon.

Jeff

So as I was Saying

Jeff Hare — Thu, 24 May 2012 01:10:06 GMT

I have this friend, that we will call Bill. He is one of the nicest guys you will ever meet. Literally, he would do anything for anyone.   Anytime, day or night, 24/7/365. Over the years he has given us a hand with many things. Finally I had a chance to return the favor, and I did. At least as well as I could, as we all know how inept I am when comes to anything mechanical.

By way of a backstory, I should say that Bill is an engineer by trade. He went to a great engineering university, and is very successful in his career. But one thing about engineers, it can never be as fast and easy as it should be.

He and his wife have a cabin just down the street from ours. Someone had given him a 25 foot flagpole, and he wanted to put on his front yard.   One Saturday, he stopped over at our place and was discussing this whole thing. I could see him hemming and hawing, so finally I said, "Hey Bill. Would you want me to come over and help you set it up? It shouldn't take that long, and we can knock it out and get it done." Of course he took me up on the offer, not realizing how un-handy I really was.

When I got to his house, this first thing that got my attention, was how heavy this 25 foot flagpole was. This thing was a heavy duty, industrial thing that was massive. But hey, two guys lifting it, just how tough could this be?   Turns out, real tough.

The next thing I noticed was some ontraption thing that he had put together, that was supposed to help set it up, and keep it in place while we would pour concrete into the hole. The fact that he was an engineer, meant that he had created these drawings, proving that it would work. Me in my clean-hands (remember I don't get my hands dirty) way, saw that there was no way that this contraption would do what he wanted. But I chose not to say anything. I figured it would be easier just to complain when it was over.

The first item of business was to get the pole in the into the five foot hole he had dug. Ever hear the story about a monkey and a football? That was us. We struggled, and fought mightily to get that flag raised. It surely wasn't Iwo Jima, but rather two middle aged men, who had too much to drink, and were thinking we could set up a rather large post in no time. But hey, we had this 'device' that would keep it in place. And it was guaranteed to work, according to the drawings.

Except that this thing that was designed to save us time and aggravation, upon first contact with the pool, shattered into pieces. Back to the drawing board for that thing.   Now it was time for me to make a management decision. Desperate times call for desperate measures.

The plan was simple, even by my standards. "Bill, I'll hold the pole. You make sure it is as level as you want it, then start pouring concrete. Hopefully, it will hold."

Bill thought it sounded good, and grabbed his level. I almost wish he was a garbage man, instead of an engineer. He started measuring, taking readings, writing down stuff, and saying 'hmmm' all the time. And I am struggling to keep this thing straight. "Anytime Bill, this thing is getting heavy."

So he poured in the first bag. It started setting up in a hurry. Bill grabbed his level, and started working on it again. Writing, measuring and the 'hmmms' again. Finally, "Bill, where are we at with this? It is getting heavier and heavier."

"Well, I think we are off a quarter of an inch. I wonder if we should dig it up." My response was simple. "Grab your concrete. We have one major heave in this thing before it is permanently hard. We got to measure it, and set it right now." He took his level in one hand, and the concrete in the other.

One heave, then two, then a few more. Finally he said, "it's there, hold it," and poured in the rest concrete. It set up quickly, and we finished the job. Or so I thought.

"Bill, that looks like a million bucks." It stood about 20 feet or so in the air, and really looked great. Engineer Bill didn't think so. "We are off a bit. About a sixteenth of an inch I think. Jeff, do you think we could tear it up, and do it again?" He was serious.

There was no way on the planet that I would tear up that flagpole. so was I. "It looks great and besides, who can tell? One-sixteenth of an inch? No one can see that." But he was adamant. 'I would know. I really think we need to re-do it."

Finally, I walked him to the middle of the street, and had him try to show me where it was off. Then I walked to the now solid hole, and did a good job convincing him to keep it right where it was.

Thing is, now I know. Every time I walk by it, I try to find the sixteenth of an inch that it supposedly off. I can't even look at it the same way. Maybe we should have tore it up.

Back Thursday with another Person of the Week.

We will talk soon

Jeff

Top Ten List

Jeff Hare — Mon, 21 May 2012 02:07:17 GMT

One thing that bugs me, is when we lose the reception on the TV. I have a satellite dish, and every time a storm comes up, the screen turns a bunch of different colors, and down it goes. Even during the winter I have had problems. More than a few times during a blizzard, I have had to get on a ladder with a broom to clean off the dish. It's no different with standard cable, which frequently hits the skids. So tonight, our Top Ten list is, what can you do if the TV reception goes out...(And by the way, wiping the snow off with a broom does work. Getting up and down the ladder during a snow storm is the tricky part.

10. Yell at the set. That should work. If not, it could get you committed. ("Abner, the Stevens's are yelling at their TV again").

9.   Throw the remote. That is, if you could find it. Toss it long and far. Problem solved. Maybe not.

8.    Kick the set. If it breaks, just turn it into a plant stand. The down side is, when the storm passes and the cable is restored, you may not have a set any longer. Plus it may hurt your foot.

7.    Keep your family informed, by doing your own newscasts right out of the newspaper. "A dog blew up today, on a downtown city street. No one was killed, but 14 fleas lost their life." (Thanks George Carlin) Do it loud, and look serious which will give credibility to your reading. "Congress today, took up a bill that would ban unseatbelted ducks on domestic airline flights."

   6.    In the same vein, you can do a talk show. Just like Jay Leno. "So tell us Susie, you got a D in History. What happened there?   Why look who just showed up? Your mother with the dog, Spot. Johnny, can you get a shot of the dog on camera? An animal act."

    5.   Get out the rabbit ears. "Kids, we used these things years ago before we had cable." (Don't laugh, I actually did that. There was a rabbit ears in my hall closet for years.).

     4.   Sit around and whistle. And do it very loudly. Pretend you are Bing Crosby whistling the second verse of White Christmas.

     3.   One word. Karaoke. Family fun for everyone. "Let's get Billy up here to sing. His song tonight will be 'Yes we got no Banana's".

     2.    Call the cable company, and scream at the eight dollar an hour clerk who answers the phone. "Look, I know you have a button there that can turn on my cable. I don't care that a storm has knocked out the system. Just hit the button and we will all be fine."

And finally the number one thing you can do when the cable goes out.

     1.    Blame your wife. She obviously caused the storm, knocking out the cable. She may deny it, but she knows the truth.

Back Tuesday with another So as I was Saying essay...

We will talk soon..

Jeff

Person of the Week

Jeff Hare — Fri, 18 May 2012 03:36:57 GMT

If you are like me, the 1970's are an enigma. There was the awful hair, harvest green appliances, polyester, and disco music.

Most of us remember those sugary lyrics, with a very canned, electronic sound, that included an inane dance beat. For many of us, it is a sound in our mind that well never go away. Thing is, I'm not sure we would trade those memories for anything.

We can say what we want, there was some talent that went into the whole disco scene. There would have to be, as it wouldn't have gone that far without great songwriters, musicians and singers. The whole package deal may look different to us now, but at the time, it was all that we wanted.

One of the great talents of the era, Donna Summer left us early this week. Many considered her the queen of disco. Not only did she sing the songs, but she wrote them as well. And she did both very well, scoring ten Top 10 hits, and five Grammy awards. Not too shabby.

She actually started out as a background singer for the great group, Three Dog Night. While doing that, she met up some producers, and soon found herself on the fast track to superstardom. Her biggest hit was called, Love to Love you Baby. Due to some of the lyrics, that song was deemed as too controversial by many radio stations, and even the erstwhile (big word alert) BBC. But go to any dance club in the 70's, that was the song you would hear. All 17 minutes of it.

I remember the first time I saw Donna Summer. There was this movie, Thank God it's Friday, which she sang the finale song called Last Dance. I was 17 years old at the time, and saw it at a drive-in theater in the middle of nowhere, with three buddies. There is not much I remember about 1978, but I do remember most of that evening like it was yesterday. The movie wasn't much, but that song was.

You hate seeing icons of our youth die. Maybe it shows our own mortality. Even if we get to see some of our favorites playing the State Fair circuit, or in the lounge at the Airport Hilton, we at least know that a part of us is still 17 years old with all the youth and vigor that goes with it. Problem is, we still also see the feathered hair, silk shirts, leisure suits, white belts and platform shoes.

Donna Summer, for that night in 1978, and for what you met to all of us in an earlier time, is our Person of the Week.

Back Sunday, we will talk soon.

The weather is supposed to be nice this weekend, so be careful.

Jeff

credit Wikopedia

So as I was Saying

Jeff Hare — Wed, 16 May 2012 03:07:11 GMT

As it has been discussed in this space on more than a few occasions, I have spent a few 'days' in the hospital, for various reasons. Most of the time, I would be in a private room. One time though, many years ago, I had a roommate. And though I enjoyed being around him, he had a few quirks to say the least.

That day, I was admitted to the room first and was laying in the bed, with more than a few I.V. tubes running, watching some rerun of Three's Company or something. Then 'Willie' walked in. An African-American fellow, he stood about 6'3 and weighed about 280 pounds. He also wore a wool stocking hat, though it was the middle of the summer. But his looks were deceiving, as he was a very nice guy. Always a smile on his face, and a kind word for everyone. He also had a plan.

"So Willie, what do they have you here for?" was my first question. He responded with, "What don't they have me here for? My neck hurts, I got a torn shoulder muscle, and I think a broken collar bone. My knee is killing me, and my foot? Don't get me started."   He figured that he would come to the hospital and they would fix him up. And they would do it all at once.

I explained to Willie that this wasn't orthopedics, and none of those maladies would get him admitted to the floor we were on. "Oh yea. They say my blood pressure is high." "Well Willie, is it?" "Yea, 330 over something like 200. Something like that."

At first I thought he was kidding, but he assured me that he wasn't.   Me, though not a doctor in real life, and don't play one on TV, thought I would continue. "Willie, those numbers will put you in the grave today. That's why you are here. They can't do anything on the other things, until the blood pressure is fixed."

Now you and I know that's true. But Willie didn't believe me. "Naww man, I need to get my shoulder fixed. That's what I want done today. And that's what I am going to tell them." "Good luck with that" was all I could say.

Before long, a doctor walked in, and asked him what was wrong. He started going though his list, actually adding a few more ("My lumbego is killing me. Also, I think I got the mange.").   The doctor kept asking him why he was on this floor. Willie wasn't about to back down. "I told you, it's my shoulder." Finally the doctor looked at the chart, and told the nurse, "Take the blood pressure." Of course, Willie was undeterred. "My blood pressure is fine, doc. It's my shoulder."

Of course once the numbers came back, the doctor let him know that they are going to fix the blood pressure issue first and foremost. (I remember the expression on the doctor's face. "It's what?!?").

When the doctor left, Willie asked, "Jeff, they gonna fix my shoulder?" "Willie, to be honest, I don't think so. They can't let you out of here with your blood pressure like that. You wouldn't live a month." To which he said, "You're wrong, Jeff. I feel fine. There is nothing wrong with my blood pressure. Now this shoulder..."

For the next three days, every single time a nurse walked in and asked of his well being, he would say, "I can barely move my arm.   This shoulder is killing me." The nurse would say, "Not your shoulder, Willie, your pressures are bad. How is your well being?" Of course, for the nurses, it was a losing battle.

Finally, after a couple of days, the hospital sent in a nutritionist. They finally his pressure somewhat under control, and now wanted to talk to him about his dining habits, which led to this problem. He was going on about this, and that. Then he made an announcement to the gathered throng (me and the nutrition lady), "On Thursday nights, I go to the bar, and eat french fries and gravy. And that's non negotiable."

The nutritionist right away told him how bad that was, but that it wouldn't matter he would soon be dead. (I got to had it to her. Fighting fire with fire.). He stared at her for a long time and said, "And you ain't making me give up my pizza." She was right back at him. "I'm not making you give up anything. Your blood pressure is very dangerous. It has stabilized so we can send you home, but the next time, you won't be back in the hospital.

Willie was nonplussed. So he yells over the curtain, "Jeff, she says I can't eat my gravy fries, and have to give up pizza. Is she right?" Now, why he's asking me, I'll never know. "Willie, she's right. You really can't eat that stuff. Listen to what she is saying" was my response. He muttered something, which I figured to leave well enough alone.

Soon we were both being discharged and said our goodbyes. I have often thought of him, and wondered how long he lived. We can only guess. Really I did enjoy him as a roommate, as we had a lot of laughs the time we were there. There was one thing I'll never forget, that he told the nurse as we were we were getting to the parking lot. "Hey. What about my shoulder?"

Back Thursday with another Person of the Week.

We will talk soon

Jeff

Top Ten List

Jeff Hare — Tue, 15 May 2012 02:55:36 GMT

The other day, I had a birthday. I'm not getting that old, but it is starting to creep up there. So that means it's time for a few observations on the aging process.

10. Things were always better (or worse) in the 'good old days.'   "The ice cream was better, the winters were colder, the water was wetter. Cars ran better, but it didn't matter we walked everywhere.   We went to barbers which made the haircuts were better, and the music made more sense." You know what I'm getting at.   And most of us know what the truth is. But try telling your father that.

9. On thing that was easier before, turning on the TV. Now, you need a remote to turn on the satellite, one for the sound system and one for the set itself. Before, you just walked over and flipped the set on. Of course with only three channels available, why even bother turning it on?

8. Hip Hop vs. Top 40 AM? Vote early and vote often.

7. When you get older, there is an easy way to ignore requests. "Abner, take out the trash." "Huh?" "Abner.." "Huh..."

6. Also, older people get to be first in the line at the picnic. "We'll let Dad go through the line first." "Thanks, where are the deviled eggs?"

   5.    "We are going allow our older passengers to board the plane first." Hey, if you have ever flown, you know that's like money. The first in always get the best overhead bins.

   4. For a older person, it is possible to completely slow down everything that is going on. "Stop, stop hold on. Don't go anywhere, stop. Now where did I put my glasses?"

   3. At movie theaters and ballgames, older folks can ask for and receive the seat at the end of the row. If someone refuses to give it up, revenge is sweet. "Excuse me, pardon me, excuse me, I'm sorry, hold on, hold on. I'm old."

2.    Plus they can pretty much drive anyway they want. Which includes driving at any speed in the freeway passing lane, and always leaving the turn signal light on.

And finally the number one observation about getting older...

1. Never, ever, ever forget to put in your teeth. You never know when you will need them.

Thanks again, and I am feeling much better.

Back tomorrow with another So as I was Saying essay.

We will talk soon

Jeff

Person of the Week

Jeff Hare — Sat, 12 May 2012 20:09:06 GMT

First off, let me say that I'm sorry that I missed the Tuesday post. I was traveling and didn't have access to a computer. Today's essay will be a challenge, as I have a fever of 102. Oh well, what can you do?

I'm not a gambler. That should be a surprise to no one as I have discussed that in the past. In my mind, it's too hard to make money, just to turn around and give it away. There is one thing I have noticed over the years about Poker. People will always tell you that they are better game players than they really are. It seems like anyone who ever goes to the casino, comes home with money. I must be the dumbest guy in the world, because I never win anything.

There is one guy who has won, and did it many times. He passed away the other day. Thomas Austin Preston, Jr. To the world, he was known as Amarillo Slim. Isn't that a cool poker name? With a moniker like that he could only be a card player. And a winner.

Over the years, he won far more than he lost, including four World Series of Poker bracelets. He was the face of the game for many years.

Not that he didn't have his share of heartache and controversy. When you run in the shady world of card sharks, things will happen. He has been beaten, robbed. shot at, you name it. But through it all, he kept plugging away, and win big money. Not many people can say that.

Tonight he is our Person of the Week...

I'm going to back to bed..

Jeff

Top Ten List

Jeff Hare — Mon, 07 May 2012 06:11:24 GMT

My time on vacation is winding down. For the Top Ten List tonight, I'll share a few observations about getting away for a few days..

10. I really believe the airlines do everything they can to make it uncomfortable as possible. Seats that are too small, no free peanuts, charging for checked baggage. Do you think they sit in a small room and trying to think up some of this stuff? ("I know, for our in-flight entertainment, lets start a movie halfway through, and show three of the lowest rated sitcoms we can find. It's only a four hour flight.")

   9.   Stay away from tandem bikes. I learned this one a few years ago. They look fun, but they aren't. HK and I ride bicycles on every trip that we take. And we always get our own. Trust me on this one. Tandems are tough.

    8. I bought a bad book from the deep discount shelf for this trip. Now I see why it was so cheap. The nice part is, the book is so bad, it helps me get to sleep. Reading it on the plane got so bad, that I ended up reading the 'Sky Mall' magazine twice. Tell me, who couldn't use a heated welcome mat?

     7. Speaking of sleep, I really don't get that much while on vacation.   Thing is, the bed is perfect. It's just me. For some reason, it's not difficult to fall asleep (see #8 above), but it's tough staying in a deep slumber. I'm up all night.

     6. Ipods may be one of the greatest inventions of our time.   I used to think it was the Big Mac, but my mind may be changing on that. It is great to have something of your own when on a trip, and and your own music is just that. Don't forget your earphones though. HK forgot hers, and paid a high price at the airport store for some.

    5.   Nothing is ever as good as we remember. I think as we get older, our memories block out the bad, and romanticize the good. We all do it, we think things in the past, were far better than they were. The 'good old days.' That is except the traffic on the LA freeways. That's still bad.

    4.   Time zones changes really mess you up.   This trip I was two time zones away from my routine. Which may have contributed a great deal to my sleeping problems. I kept getting up at 5 am, thinking it was 7.

    3.   Seems like that on vacation, you walk forever. That could be because my wife makes me get out and exercise more that I would ordinarily.

    2.   Vacation eating is bad for diets. No one ever goes away to eat salads and radishes. Then we 'blame' being on vacation for eating the gooey, sweet stuff.

And finally the number one observation about vacations.

    1.    They can invent rocket ships, and supersonic jets, but nothing in this world goes faster than a vacation.

This has been a great trip seeing wonderful friends and relatives in Los Angeles. No matter what, I wouldn't trade it for anything, I just wish it lasted longer. Back Tuesday with another So as I was Saying essay.

We will talk soon

Jeff








9.

Person of the Week

Jeff Hare — Fri, 04 May 2012 05:11:24 GMT

If you have ever been to the Western part of the U.S., and someone asked what the best thing about that part of the country, your answer could only be one thing. Not the weather, Dodger Stadium, or Disneyland. Those are close, but not it.. Not Big Sur, the Hollywood sign, or San Fransisco. No cigar there. The USC marching band comes very near the top, but still falls short. No, the coolest thing about the West is very simple. In and Out Burgers.

Now, I'm not the only person to make that statement. The renowned authority of everything that is good and correct, the actor Tom Hanks also said it. A few years ago, Conan O'Brien asked Hanks what he thought was the best thing about Los Angeles. Hanks said the same thing, "That's easy, In and Out Burger."

If you have never been to the west coast, you may not have heard of them. If you have been traveled or live there, you know what I am talking about and agree with me. They are easily, hands down, the best hamburger you have ever eaten.

First off, there menu is very limited. There is only four things on it. Burgers, fries, shakes and soda. Everything on the menu, is made fresh, in front of your very eyes. Nothing frozen or stored. The hamburger, and potatoes for the fries are all cut and cooked right there. They also wrap it up in a way, that can eaten easily while driving on the freeway. How cool is that? A great hamburger, in a wrapper that you allows you to eat and not spill anything, all the while going 80 mph on the 5 freeway.

Every year when I got to LA, the first stop I make is Redondo Beach In and Out Burger. (Take the 405 south, get off at the Inglewood exit, go left at the stop light, to the next light, go left again. It's is on the left hand side). There are currently 268 stores across California, Nevada, Arizona, Utah, and Texas, with more opening, all in the west.

There are a couple of other things that need to be discussed. The employees are are the friendliest group of people you will ever find in any restaurant. They are continually asking what they can do to help. It's a fast food joint, and they actually come to your table to make ensure your satisfaction.

When I said earlier that there are only four things on the menu, I was half right. What I didn't say was the existence of a 'secret menu.' I'd like to tell you about it, but I can't, since it's a secret. It is not listed in the restaurant, but it is on their web-site, so it's not that tight lipped. Plus you can Google In and Out secret menu, and the whole thing is explained in depth and detail. The thing to remember is, that whatever you want when it comes to a hamburger, they can do it.

I'm getting hungry, so I got to go. Just remember, if you are ever out west, stop in a order a hamburger, and pay tribute to Harry Snyder and his wife Esther, founders of the best hamburger chain ever. And they are our Persons of the Week.

By the way, a few years ago at the Academy Awards, the celebrities got some fancy thing prepared by some high priced chefs, and the crew got In and Out. When it was over, they found that most of the rich and famous were trying to 'trade up' and get the burgers. I'm just sayin'.

I promise when we talk again, my mouth won't full.

Jeff

So as I was Saying

Jeff Hare — Wed, 02 May 2012 23:40:46 GMT

The other day, HK and I were touring a beautiful new house that her cousin is building. It really was a nice home, in a great Southern California neighborhood. This got me to thinking about a place that I lived, and immortalized (if that can be word) in this space. I am speaking of the one and only ‘Stately Hare Manor’.

For years on Saturday Night Live, the late Chris Farley would talk about living in a van down by the river. The Manor was kind of like that. I found it a shortly after my divorce and I needed a place to live. There was an ad in the newspaper from a fellow who bought repossessed mobile homes. He would then ‘sell’ them to people on a very reasonable payment plan, which after a while, the buyer would get the title. I was paying him $150 monthly, then add to that $200 for the park for lot rent, it really wasn’t a terrible deal. Where else can get two a two bedroom place for 350 a month? He has about 30 homes all around town, and makes a pretty good living at that.

The ‘home’ was built in 1979, and it was alright, just older. Of course with anything that is getting along in years, it did have a few quirks. The first thing that was strange about it, was the trailer park that it was located. The management of the facility would brag to anyone that would listen, that it was a ‘high end’ location (if there is such a thing in the mobile home world). They had a long list of rules and regulations that had to be adhered to. If not, there would be a nasty note on your door. To be honest, there were quite a few notes on my door. I gather that they weren’t real crazy about me.

I put myself on the radar one winter. They had a strict policy concerning snow removal. It had to be cleared from your driveway in so many days after it had fallen, and had to be done a certain uniform way. No biggie, that’s simple enough.

So one day it snowed pretty hard. When it stopped, I got out there with my snow blower and diligently cleaned my driveway. At about 9:30 that night, I get a knock at the door. It was the park manager, and apparently, they measured with a tape, and found that there two inches on my driveway, that wasn’t properly cleaned off. The guy at the door asked if I would get to it right away. Two inches, on the edge of the driveway, that could only be seen if you measured? You have to be kidding.

I’m a real easy guy to work with “No problem, I’ll fix it up right now” was my only and appropriate response. Out comes the snow blower, and I fixed the two inches. And while I was at it, I cleaned off my front and back yard. There were piles of snow strewn everywhere. You should have seen the look on that man’s face when he drove by.

One day they came by, and told me that they didn’t like the shade of red that my deck was painted. “Excuse me? It was painted that way when I bought it.” No matter, they saw some peeling on the back of it, and wanted it all done. Again, okay, I’ll take care of it right away. I painted it bright orange. They never said a word about it again.

Then there was a problem with the plumbing. A pipe broke, and there was water everywhere. Actually I saved the day on that. I called the park, told them to turn off the water, or it would flood the whole complex. I got a big ‘thank you’ on that one. I’m such an enduring guy. You can learn from me.

So the park recommended a plumber that specialized in mobile homes. I called him and he was right out. He’s probably a better man than me, since it was 20 below zero that day, but out he came. Ten minutes he comes up from down below the floor (in mobile homes, the plumbing is in the lower skirted area, above ground and beneath the floor), to tell me that we had a ‘major problem’ that was going to run me some ‘big bucks’. “Ok, give me the bad,” was all I could say.

“The pipe is broken around the wheel,” he said. “It is real hard to get to, so the labor cost will be up there. And because the pipe is bent at an angle, that’s going to run you some more money also.” I’m thinking that this will cost more than the place is worth. “How much,” I asked bracing for the worst. “Well, since it is so cold, and my guy may need to work overtime to get it done, it will be about 70 dollars.” Seventy bucks, really? “Tell you what, why don’t you go ahead and fix it.” Needless to say I used him on any other projects, and recommended him to my friends.

Eventually, I got possession of the place, and for a single guy, it really wasn’t all that bad. Eventually, I met HK, and she had a big four bedroom house in a historic neighborhood that I eventually moved into. When the time came, the trailer was really easy to sell. I just called the guy I bought it from, and he came over and wrote me a check.

Every once in a while, I’ll drive by the place to check on it (Quick, I got to tell you know where I got that name, ‘Stately Hare Manor’? Remember the TV show Batman? He lived in ‘Stately Wayne Manor.’ I liked the name, but since my name isn’t Wayne…). And even though it has been a few years, Ill still get funny looks from the people who work at the park. The still remember. And the porch is still orange.

Back Thursday with another Person of the Week

We will talk soon…

Jeff

Top Ten List

Jeff Hare — Mon, 30 Apr 2012 02:14:50 GMT

Vacation time starts on Tuesday, and it's on the plane, and off to Los Angeles. While planning my trip, there were ten things that I really want to do while I am out there. And Here they are...

10. Make a bid to buy the Dodgers.   Really, Magic, two billion? If you get that thing down to fifty bucks or so, give me a call.

9. Repel the 'Hollywood' sign, using a rope, and ice pick, and two year old pair of Nike's. Okay, I kidding about that.

8.   Prepare for a new career as a NASCAR driver.   It's called 'rush hour on the 405.'

7.   See if Kobe and the Lakers need any help for the playoffs. I'm sure they would get all excited about a 50 year old fat guy with a half inch vertical leap, (that's from a running start).

6.   Body surf. Oh yea here I come. "We interrupt this programming to issue a Tsunami warning from the entire California Coast, extending up into Oregon and Washington. This action will be cancelled as soon as Mr. Hare gets off the surf board."

   5. Get in a weight workout in at Muscle Beach. My ultimate goal is to walk up to the biggest guy there, and kick sand in his face, then see how fast I can run. This gives new meaning to the 'Tortoise and the Hare'.

   4.    When in Rome (or LA) be an Roman (or LA'n). Get a silk shirt, leave it unbuttoned down to there, get a gold medallion, and cheap cologne. It's that how the beautiful people dress, right?

   3. Call Nicholson, see if he wants to 'hang out'.

   2.   Make a run at the world record for consumption of 'In and Out Burgers'. Now that's what I'm talking about.

And finally, the number one thing I want to do when in Los Angeles this week.

    1.   Two words. Earthquake Watch.

We will talk soon, Tuesday from sunny California

Jeff

Person of the Week

Jeff Hare — Fri, 27 Apr 2012 03:14:16 GMT

We lost a true musical legend the other day. Though you may not have known his name, you definitely know his work. He revolutionized a technique that is used by banjo players to this day, and completely changed the way Country Music was and continues to be played. His name was Earl Scruggs.

If you aren't a banjo player and lets be honest, most of us aren't, the three finger picking style may not mean much to you. But his most popular song may strike a memory. In 1962, he and his musical partner Lester Flatt, wrote and recorded a catchy little ditty that was used on a popular TV program. Soon it became part of the popular culture, and was called "The Ballad of Jed Clampett," from show, The Beverly Hillbillies.

Now what just happened as you read this? Admit it, as we know it is true. When I mentioned that song, it started playing through your head...

"Now let me tell you a story about a man named Jed..."

They also wrote and performed a song that became another bit hit for them called Foggy Mountain Breakdown. It also was used as the theme song, this time for the movie Bonny and Clyde.

Born in North Carolina eighty-eight years ago, Scruggs was born into a musical family. The great Bill Monroe hired him in 1945 to play in his blue grass band. A few years later Scruggs and band mate Lester Flatt broke off and formed their own band. And over the years, Flatt and Scruggs, (and of course, Monroe) became synonymous with the art form that is Blue Grass Music.

"Poor mountaineer barely kept his family fed..."

Over the years, Flatt and Scruggs won two Grammy awards (one of the prizes was for Foggy Mountain Breakdown) and was inducted into the Country Music Hall of Fame in 1985. He also got a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, and was voted as the 24th most influential person in Country Music.

"Then one day he was shootin' at some food, and up from the ground, came a bubblin' crude..."

Even though we morn his passing, this was a fun piece to write. More than a few times, I stopped writing and played his music on You Tube. When you hear him play the banjo, you can't help but smile, hum and tap your foot. And I really think that is what our Person of the Week, Earl Scruggs, would have wanted.

Back Sunday with another Top Ten List..

We will talk soon, and lets credit Wikopedia for their help on this story...

Jeff

"Now it's time to say goodbye to Jed and all his kin, he would like to thank you all for kindly stoppin' in..."

So as I was Saying

Jeff Hare — Wed, 25 Apr 2012 03:40:10 GMT

I have often talked about my stint as a news reporter in Detroit. It was a great time, and in that city, there was always something going on. When it came to the news, it was almost like a kid in a candy store.   It was a simple job really, find the story, do an interview, put together twenty seconds, and it runs at three minutes after the hour. Then next hour do it all over again.

Every morning I would go into work, and get my new assignment. Sometimes it was interviewing people like Liz Taylor, Rosa Parks or Bill Clinton. Or it may be going to the donut shop and ask the patrons if Ross Perot entering the Presidential race would have any bearing on who they would vote for. And of course since it was a donut shop, it would only be in my best interest to partake, but that's another story.

Then one day, I was to go to the Mayor's office, and attend his press conference about the city's effort to fight the phenomenon known as Devil's Night. Devil's Night is a sick Halloween tradition (that still exists), in which Detroit residents, in celebrating the holiday, will burn down the city. Literally, hundreds of fires anywhere and everywhere. And this particular year, the honorable Coleman A. Young, Mayor, was going to stop the madness. And me as media person, would find out how, and bring it to the station, all wrapped up in 20 second news bytes. The news never stops, or so the station would shout out three times an hour.

The news director called me into her office, gave me the credentials, and offered some advice. Don't ask any questions, as Mayor Young would eat up reporters he didn't recognize, and since this was my first visit to the City-County Building, that meant me.   Basically, keep my mouth shut, get the tape and bring it back to the studio.

Coleman Young was the first African American mayor of Detroit, and served about twenty years or so. During that time he made a few enemies over the years, and many of his cronies did time in prison for corruption. To be clear, though there were rumors, it has never been proven Young was in any illegal activity. He could be very nasty to the media, in fact once was challenged by an TV anchorman to a fistfight which would be televised (it never came to pass) What a great city! Google him sometime.

So I get to his office on the eighth floor, and am getting a bit nervous. It gets worse as I walk into this huge outer office. Mahogany desks, ornate decor, fancy everything. And two secretaries. I stand there for a few minutes before one finally looks up and asks if I needed something. "Yes, I would like to go into the press conference, and here is my pass." The secretary took a long look, and said, "No."

"Excuse me, I think you will find everything in order. I need to be in the (already started) press briefing." Again, "No" was the response. This lady had a real way with words.

She waves her hand, and one of Coleman's lackeys comes over.   He is wearing a thousand dollar suit, and is dripping with gold chains (When Young retired, this guy ran for mayor and lost in the primary. He really thought he was big time). He walks over, and growls, "What do you want?" I again explained, and he gave me an answer I was familiar with. "Nope. You aren't getting in."

Now, I'm thinking, If I can't get in, this guy is not going to be the reason. I'll just get nasty, throw a fit, and get hauled off to the Wayne County lockup. It may be unpleasant, but at least I'll make the six o'clock news. ("Crazy reporter arrested in Mayor Young's office for being a moron. Film at 11).

But, my better thoughts prevailed, and I asked for an explanation. Too which the suit guy said to me, "How do we really know that you're Jeff Hare? You can be anyone." If I could be anyone, would I really be the youngest reporter on the worst rated station in Detroit, arguing with a guy so I could get into a press conference and get yelled at?" Come on man.

It got worse when I gave him my drivers license. "Why, you don't live in the city. Why should we let a suburban person in here. And besides, your station is nasty to us. We really don't want you here."

Now I need to think of something quick. I can't go back to the station with nothing. That would get me regulated to writing copy for the overnight news guy. Wait a minute, that's what I was doing anyway.   Then it hit me. Kind of like the light bulb in the cartoons.

The station that I worked for, also owned an African-American station that was in the same building we were.   We would give them our news that they would air throughout the day. They too, were waiting for the tape of this press conference, in fact they called twice looking for it. The 'star' of that station, was a guy named 'the Electrifying Mojo'. He was a huge hero in the city Detroit. Funny thing is, no one had ever seen him.   He did his show remotely, even sometimes from a phone booth in the middle of the city. But never in the studio. He was my ticket out of this mess.

My question to chain man, was simple. "Hey, you ever heard of Mojo?" He responded, "Or course I heard of Mojo. Who hasn't? What kind of question is that?" It was time for end this insanity. "The tape of this news conference will be given to Mojo." His eyes lit up, "This tape is going to Mojo?" "Yes, that is if I can get it." He said "Okay, only if Mojo gets the tape." Of course, I couldn't let it die. "I'll tell him you said hello." By now he was my friend. "You would do that."

The press conference itself was uneventful. Coleman spoke for an hour, all in twenty second intervals. The guy was a pro, he knew how to get on the news.   In fact, our station and Mojo had it on the news for two days.

When I got back to the station, I had a message from Young's press secretary apologizing for the mix-up, and told me it wouldn't happen again. I told them to get me an apology from the Mayor, and then I would be happy. Guess what was not forthcoming?

Back Thursday with another Person of the Week

We will talk soon

Jeff

Top Ten List

Jeff Hare — Mon, 23 Apr 2012 01:59:33 GMT

Years ago, before I met HK, I was living in a place that I called 'Stately Hare Manor.' It was actually a trailer down by the river, but that's just a trivial detail. Part of the life that all bachelor face, is what to eat and meals. That was a problem that I solved easily. Every day, it was Cap't Crunch, and Big Macs. And other than my cardiologist complaining, it may or may not have worked out well. Here are ten reasons why that is so..

10. Preparation was easy. Never a whole lot of cooking time was ever needed. Just get a bowl, and fill it up. Not rocket surgery there.

9. That said, there is not a whole lot of clean up needed either. Just a bowl, spoon, occasional empty cereal box, and/or the styrofoam Big Mac container. Now, I know, you don't have to say it. McDonald's doesn't use that type of container any longer. But they did then. They also had paper wrapped around the food itself. Not sure why, but it was done.

8. Takes away all question, as to what to eat. Back then, I knew every hour of every day what my next meal would be. That reduced a great deal of stress. I tried to use that reasoning to my doctor, but he didn't believe it.

7. The refrigerator is always empty, except for a carton of milk. Which was a good thing, since the refrig at the Manor barely worked.

6.   Stretching of the mind. It has been said, that memorization improves your mind. If that's the case, there is a whole menu that will need to be studied. The number one is a Big Mac and fries, the two is Two Cheese Burgers and fries, ect. To speed up time at the drive-through line, it is a good idea to commit the menu to memory..

5. Scheduling of the day is easy. Just figure out the busiest times at McDonald's and avoid it then. It works, believe me.

4. The body knows what to expect, thus there are no surprises. No cucumbers caught in the middle of a salad, just maybe a pickle in the special sauce.

3. It is easier to shop. There is no need for a shopping list, as you know automatically what to buy. The question becomes how big of a box and if you want crunchberries. Again, stress relief.

   2. There is plenty of space in the cupboard. Just a bowl, and a box of cereal. When I moved out, there was less to throw away.

And finally the number one thing that's nice about eating a limited menu..

   1. There are always cereal boxes laying around, that can be used to wrap gifts in. And we all know that's as good as gold at Christmas time.

Back Tuesday with another So as I was Saying essay.

We will talk soon

Jeff

Person of the Week

Jeff Hare — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 03:18:08 GMT

You are never supposed to lead a story with a question. Thus, that statement is made, so that rule won't be broken. So now, how can we not honor Bubba Watson as our Person of the Week? Winning the coveted Masters golf tournament is enough, but to do it in such dramatic fashion, is something that won't soon be forgotten by anyone. Even if you aren't a golf fan, the emotion and excitement of the last three holes, where the two golfers battled shot for shot, and into the sudden death playoff, was completely and totally riveting. Easter Sunday suppers all over the world were put on hold, as it wasn't possible to get away from the action as he batted and defeated South African Louis Oosthuizen to take home the green jacket.

Of course it got better, as Watson's friends on the PGA tour all gathered at the last hole to shake his hand and offer congratulations. It was an emotional scene to be sure, as was when his mother came out to hug him on the green. And to see his tears of joy, was the proverbial 'icing on the cake.'

The thing that we will all remember, will be the shot that he made in the second hole of the sudden death. Hitting the ball from deep in the trees, he made it high enough, curving it around 'the bend', and landing 15 feet from the pin, as incredible. It will forever be part of Augusta lore. I'm a golfer, and when he hit that shot, all I could say was "Come on man, that's not possible. That's just done none." Which is something I got correct, as with my game, it is impossible and not done..But anyway...

Then the back story started to come out. His wife wasn't at the tournament, as she was at home with their recently adopted infant. Additionally, his father passed away 18 months ago, and with that in mind, Watson raises a great deal of money for cancer research and other organizations. Along those lines, he is the only player on the PGA tour who uses a pink driver. The manufacturer has duplicated that club, and it can be purchased at pro shops, raising more money for charity. By the way, the color can be deceiving, as he is considered to have the longest tee shot on the tour.

Right now, the world is getting to know the ex-Georgia Bulldog. With the way things are going with him, we will be seeing a whole lot more of our Person of the Week, Bubba Watson. Man, after watching the Masters, it is time to get the clubs out.

We will talk soon, as in Sunday with another Top Ten List

Jeff

So as I was Saying

Jeff Hare — Thu, 19 Apr 2012 01:56:38 GMT

A few years ago, my work afforded my the opportunity to go to Memphis. No matter what anyone will tell you, Memphis is a real cool place. Like any big city, it has a culture and life of it's own. All I know, the time I was there was a blast.

Of course any trip to Memphis, has to have a stop (and end) at Beale Street. Birthplace of the blues. If you are a fan of music at all, no question about it, you have to go to Beale and soak it in.

When you walk on the street, there is music everywhere. Kind of like New Orleans before Katrina. And because it is Beale, it is all loud, live and outstanding. And the food is pretty good also.

There were five or six of us in our group. It started with ribs (like only Memphis can do), and ended up with shots of Wild Turkey. At that point, it was decided that we needed to walk down Beale with cigars in hand (that may have been the Wild Turkey talking). Of course, that would mean that we needed to get some cigars. It also is probably not that smartest thing to do, as nothing says 'tourist' more than, fat middle aged guys with too many Wild Turkey, walking down the street with cigars in hand. But that doesn't stop us, as we stop into a shop, hoping to get a couple cheap 'gars. The first store we walk into, 9 bucks a piece (I think is was Panamanian.). Nine dollars? Come on man, I don't think so.

In the second, and third place, it was all the same, nine dollars a cigar. Finally, I walked into the last shop and asked, and was told the same thing, nine bucks. As I turned away, muttering under my breath, 'man, that's too much money'. At that point, the guy behind the counter pulled a Tiparillo out of his pocket, and said 'fifty cents." All right. My group bought all he had..

So now, we are walking down Beale, with cigars (Just so you know. This was a long while ago, the cardiologist has put an end to any idea of those ever again), and we came across problem #2. Beggars and panhandlers on every corner, "Hey man, you got a buck, I haven't eaten in two days." Right. Begging for money, wearing new Air Jordan's? The cliche' was right. I kept walking away, when this guy walked up, and said "Hey, can you spare a couple of bucks. I'd like a good glass of beer." I told him how much I appreciated his honesty, and gave it to him.

I really doesn't help. Give a buck to one, and there are 200 following you around, thinking you are going to give out more. That's not going to happen

By this time, I decided it was time to do the ultimate tourist thing. Buy a T-shirt. Something like "I'm with stupid, and we are on Beale Street". Or "I love Memphis, and I'm a tourist." How about "I came to Memphis, and left with this T-shirt." "I'm in Memphis, a tourist, and nerd." You know what I'm talking about.

Thing is, all the touristy shops, the same ones that have no qualms about charging nine dollars for a cigar, also have T-shirts for 30. No way. I'm standing at this stop light, and I say to the guy next to me, "Man I got to find a T-shirt. But thirty bucks? I don' think so." Because that guy wasn't part of my group, he thought I was crazy.

Then I hear this, "Hey dude. Come here?" (Kind of like "If you build it, he will come") I give the old "Me?" The voice again "Yea, you. Come here." It was some guy in a car with is parked in an alley. So, I walk over (I lived in Detroit. You would think I would be smarter then to walk into an alley to some guy in a car. Probably not the smartest thing to do), as he opens the trunk. In there are all kinds of T-shirts. different sizes, colors, tasteful (again, you know what I mean), and cheap. Six bucks each. I bought four. The guy next to me, (the same one who thought I was crazy. He wasn't real smart either) bought eight. My entire group showed up, bought a ton of his shirts, almost selling him out. Literally, a ton, I didn't know if we could get them all on the airplane, there were so many.

Anyway, it was a great trip, and ribs were fabulous. All I know is, I have to back. Need some more T-shirts.

Top Ten List

Jeff Hare — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 02:09:25 GMT

I, like most Americans if you believe the stories that are out there, I could stand to lose a few pounds. Which of course, that means diet and exercise. My problem with all of this, is probably the best diet food out there, the green leafy salad, I don't like all that much. Why, you ask? Tonight I'll give you ten observations about eating salad.

10. Iceberg lettuce. Really? Isn't it mostly water? Are you kidding me? Iceberg Lettuce?

9. Rabbits eat it. So, last name aside (Hare), why would I want to eat it? Since I'm higher up the food chain, I can survive on good food, like Cap't Crunch. The Oryctolagus Cuniculus (Rabbit. Using that fancy word makes you think that I'm smarter than I actually am.) needs it worse that I do.

   8. It fills you up, so you eat less of the 'real' food. Remember the lunch buffet at Pizza Hut? The old Five bucks, all you can eat.   When you got to the buffet table, the first thing you came to was the lettuce and other salad ingredients. The pizza was at the back end of it all. The thought was, if you ate more salad, then there would be less pizza eaten. Since iceberg lettuce is far cheaper than pizza, the chain would makes more money on the lunch special. I don't blame them, it makes sense. I came up with was a solution that that works very well. Start at the rear of the buffet table. ("Isn't this where the line starts? Huh. You'd think they would mark it better."). That way you can avoid all of the rabbit food.

   7. If a salad comes with an entree, it's probably okay to order it. You wouldn't want to sit there while everyone else is eating. That is, unless you can bum the crackers off someone else. Problem solved.

   6. If given a choice, take the soup. The other day at a restaurant, I got the soup instead of salad. It was the best Clam Chowder ever. Then there was the time at another place, I ordered the French Onion soup, and it was terrible. A mental note was made, so that the next time in there, I got a salad. Mental notes are important to get this right.

    5. Salad dressing confusion. You know what I mean. Is it Thousand Island, French, Italian, Oil and Vinegar, Ranch, Blue Cheese, or something else completely bizarre. My head is swirling just thinking about it.

4. The small salad plates create clutter on the table. You are correct when you say that is no good.

    3.   Salad bar? Fine. I'll have a Bud Lite, and the wife will have a Grey Goose Martini (Have you ever seen the price of those things. Hey HK, next time drink the bar liquor, it will save me a few bucks.)

    2.   Okay, so we have established what a salad bar is. But why is it the only things on it are stuff you really wouldn't eat anyway. My sons never came home from school, and said "Dad, please give me a radish. Can I have two?" Or "Do we have any sliced cucumbers in the refrigerator?"

Finally the number one thing to remember about eating salads.

1. Nothing on a salad bar, repeat nothing, comes glazed or with jelly in the middle.

Back on Tuesday with another So as I was Saying essay.

We will talk soon

Jeff

Person of the Week

Jeff Hare — Fri, 13 Apr 2012 03:19:32 GMT

Let's say that you owned, or was the CEO of a major corporation. What would you guess would be the worst words you could hear? How about "Mike Wallace is in the lobby, and wants to ask a few questions." Granted it's a joke that has been kicked around for a few years, but it's very true. For years, Wallace and his 60 Minutes cohorts went out of there was to expose the evil that haunts our lives.

Unfortunately, the bad guys may have gotten a reprieve, as Wallace passed away the other day at age 93. The good news is, his old program 60 Minutes is still hard at work rooting out the bad things that people do. But that's another story for another time.

He was in broadcasting for over 60 years. For most of that time, he was a major player in the news end of that industry. It is staggering when you think, that in his time, he has interviewed every President from Franklin Roosevelt through Barrack Obama. Over the years, there hasn't been many news makers who were able to avoid his probing interviews. Be it politicians, athletes, celebrities, or criminals, he was there with his microphone and camera crew.

Wallace was the master of the tough interview. He was able to do something that many reporters won't or are not capable of doing, and that is to ask the tough follow up question. The one that would make the subject squirm. If you were being interviewed by him, and he were to preface a question by saying, "Forgive me, but..." you knew you were in trouble. Or if an answer was given that, shall we say, would be lacking in truth, Wallace would give a curt "Come on." Which would be his way of saying, 'No. You aren't getting by with it.'

To be sure, Wallace had his share of detractors. Many didn't appreciate his intense scrutiny. He was sued General William Westmoreland concerning a report he did on Vietnam, (which was eventually settled). In the '50's he was known as "Mike Malice" because of his style. One time he during an interview, he had Barbra Streisand in tears. There is no question that he could be abrasive and rude, but in the end, he always seemed to get the answers to the tough questions.

A graduate of the University of Michigan, Wallace also had some very real personal issues. In the early 1060's he had a son killed in an accident. Years later, he also was diagnosed with severe depression to which he received treatment. He also revealed in an interview that he had once attempted suicide.

Maybe that is what made him what he was. Here was this very tough journalist, a man who paved so many paths in the world of news, exposing his warts for us all to see. He wasn't always pretty, but he couldn't be ignored.

Mike Wallace is our Person of the Week.

Will be back Sunday with another Top Ten List

We will talk soon

Jeff

"I'm Morley Safer. I'm Frank Reynolds. I'm Ed Bradley. And I'm Mike Wallace. These stories and more tonight on 60 Minutes.

So as I was Saying

Jeff Hare — Thu, 12 Apr 2012 02:14:51 GMT

I'm not superstitious at all. The way I see it, I have enough real problems without trying to create any more. It's just weird to me that people get excited about things that really don't matter. This very thing almost got my buddy Omar in huge trouble and a broken jaw.

Now Omar is a pretty good pool player, which is something that I really don't do well. When I split from my first wife, he wanted me to join his pool league, which I did. It really wasn't that much fun, as I was the worst player, on the worst team, in the worst league in the city. That would make me the worst pool player in town. I'm not sure there would be an argument from anyone on my team. Anyway, Omar's team won it, and we were like the Kansas City Royals. So far out of it that we needed a calculator to figure to ad the minus's.

At the end of the season, Omar organized an 'all-star' contest, with the best of our league facing the best shooters of rival establishment. It was easier said than done, as the other team had a whole set of criteria that had to be followed. It was to be played at their place (which was at a private club) and on their billiard table. For whatever reason, it was decided that I would need to be the official scorekeeper. I really wanted nothing to do with it, but since the other team wouldn't play unless I kept the score sheet, I had no choice. I did win on one count, I would have to be the head 'referee'. That honor would be bestowed to Omar (he insisted on that).

So the event begins and for a while, is actually kind of fun. Everyone is enjoying themselves, and some real good pool is being played. But then as always the case, it goes awry. And all because of a crazy superstition.

Apparently and unbeknownst to me (which is why I wasn't the referee), in the game of three-ball pool, it is considered bad form to shoot at the eight ball. In most leagues, it's not even put on the table. Of course in this so-called 'all-star' game being played for pitchers of beer, you would think that it wouldn't matter. And you would be wrong.

It happened when racking up the other team. Omar put the black ball on the table. They cried 'foul', and would not shoot unless it was removed. So Omar took the ball off, which caused our team to start whining, stating that, the balls had to be shot as racked. Then of course, the yelling and screaming started, which led to our team packing up and heading home.

I tried to negotiate to keep the game intact, but it was no use. Our team claimed the other group cheated by not shooting the black ball. The other group claimed Omar was trying to jinx them by putting out the eight. To this day, I couldn't believe what I was hearing. Grown men screaming and yelling over the color of a pool ball.

And of course my best friend Omar couldn't help himself by keeping quiet. He went to where the other group was sitting, and started in on the trash talk. Which infuriated the room even more. So much so, that a guy so big that he had his own zip code, stood up. He was bright red with anger, and half liquored up, which made for a great combination. Mad, drunk, big and ready to kill Omar. I really thought it was over for him that day.

For some reason, maybe it was out of some deep abiding loyalty to my friend, I stood up. The guy was lunging across room at a still loud and obnoxious Omar (who still wouldn't shut up). As I got to the guy, I started reasoning with him, which only partially worked. ("Come on, you don't want this, you'll punch him, and the cops show up. What are you going to tell them, it was over a pool ball. Give me two minutes, and I'll get Omar out of here."). Finally when I offered to buy him and his buddies a pitcher of beer, he calmed down. "You got two minutes to get him out of here." All I could say was, "no problem, thanks. Enjoy the drink."

I pulled Omar out of there, and he was still chirping all the way to the car. When we got in, he asked me, "why did you pull me out of there?" "Omar, that guy was three times your size. He would have killed you." Omar didn't see it that way. "If he would've hit me, I'd call the cops, and he would go to jail." Really? Really? "Omar, it's a private club, and if you noticed, I was the only person to stand up in your corner. Your entire team even bailed on you. Do you really think the cops would have even shown up? What would they have done?"

Finally only then did he shut up. You know, that was ten years ago, and it is still discussed in both places. Hurt feelings still linger, and teams would never consider playing each other again. All because of a stupid pool ball.

We will talk soon, Person of the Week on Thursday

Jeff